Wednesday, April 16, 2014
This is how we rolllllll #floridageorgialine

This is how we rolllllll #floridageorgialine

safaribrowser:

get your game ondrive safe

safaribrowser:

get your game on
drive safe

(Source: communistbakery)

imtrulytiff:

imminentlyginger:

you fucked up

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING IT HURTS

IM IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AND LITERALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD WHILE THE TEACHER WAS TALKING ABOUT PRESIDENTIAL PROBLEMS OOPS

(Source: becca-morley)

Making gluten free food that tastes good is the actual hunger games

(Source: urm0mluvsmi)

geeksotospeak:

THIS IS PROBABLY THE FUNNIEST CARD I’VE EVER PLAYED IN CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY

geeksotospeak:

THIS IS PROBABLY THE FUNNIEST CARD I’VE EVER PLAYED IN CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY

(Source: geeksotospeak-inactive)

(Source: thatnutcray)

Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it. Cesare Pavese (via cheapflights)

starfleetinginterest:

what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent

(Source: ca-aaammm)

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

andrewbelami:

foodtrucker:

I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous

holding a really sharp knife to their neck usuallly does the trick for me

(Source: foodtrucker)

pemsylvania:

welcome to my crib sorry it’s a little small i’ve had it since I was a baby

(Source: pemsylvania)

64kbps:

soulja boy tell em. im too shy

(Source: shalrath)

I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important it changes who a woman is.

Unknown

The most perfect conclusion about how “virginity” came to be I’ve ever encountered.

(via paulineway)

(Source: dolly-lungs)

elyonia:

00sal:

King George

Here you go
vote—saxon

(Source: everythingroyalty)